Two Men Celebrate Touchdown With Prolonged Embrace; League Continues Normally
Sources describe the incident as “a touchdown celebration.” No further action is expected.
BY THE RESEARCH DESK AN INSTITUTE DISPATCH · SATIRE
Two fictional teammates celebrated a touchdown by embracing. Play resumed shortly afterward.
The institute observed that teammates tend to be pleased when their team scores. This is currently our strongest finding.
The embrace reveals nothing about either man’s sexuality. It does reveal that the team scored a touchdown. We consider this distinction important, although apparently not important enough to stop publishing.