Local Tight End Has Career Night; Researchers Take Notes
A strong performance at a position we continue to insist we did not name.
BY THE RESEARCH DESK AN INSTITUTE DISPATCH · SATIRE
A fictional local tight end had an excellent evening. The institute congratulates him on his entirely football-related achievements.
Researchers recorded several receptions, a touchdown, and the continued existence of the words “tight end.” The words have been referred to the terminology department.
The terminology department is the same department as every other department. It is a couch.